12/8/2023 0 Comments Kids in undiesThat doesn't include performing sexually in front of peers. This can mess up the next stage of development - "late childhood" from 6 to 11 - when they're developing what Ralph terms their "burgeoning peer identity, which propels them to want to perform and produce athletically, socially and academically in front of peers. They become very preoccupied with looking and exhibiting themselves." If they don't get good guidance then, and are encouraged to be naked with strangers of the opposite sex, they're in danger of becoming what's known in the trade as "the sexually overstimulated child." Ralph explained that age 3 to 6 is when kids are developing "the first building blocks of sexual identity. And if anybody tries to do it, I want you to let Mom and Dad know immediately!' " I want to let you know you're at the age now where I don't want any man undressing in front of you. "A little girl who's allowed to be watching all these nude men: That's different from Dad saying, You're not coming in the locker room, no way! I don't care what the rule is. "Children from 4 to 8, certainly by age 6, are looking for their parents to give them rules about when they're supposed to show their bodies to anyone else - rules about body privacy - and whether any other adults or peers should be showing their bodies to them. "I do not think it's good for kids at this age," he continued. "It's not okay," he said of the situation at the Silver Spring Y. Ralph has worked as an adult and child psychiatrist and psychoanalyst for 20 years and is author of a recently published textbook, "Normal Child and Adolescent Development." Next I phoned Ralph Gemelli, clinical associate professor of psychiatry at the George Washington University medical school. You'll see a little boy with a blinking tic he got it when he started showering with his daddy."Īs for the Y dads, she said: "A responsible father would realize that he has more alternatives, and exercise them." My one daughter - she's 6 - will have to make the transition next year. I guess it makes some people uncomfortable: I think men have more trouble dressing in front of little girls than the girls have. "I haven't ever had any problems with it," said one father of 4- and 6-year-old daughters whom he'd just dressed. But after that nationwide ruckus last September over a 6-year-old North Carolina boy kissing a girl on the cheek in school and getting suspended for it, I started wondering.Ĭlearly my own slight discomfort, I realized, isn't the significant question here - I'm an adult, I'm not being damaged, I can deal with it.īut what about the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual well-being of the children? If their schools are concerned about sexuality, how healthy is this locker room experience for them? First I decided to ask a few dads. It's the typical scene Saturday and Sunday mornings at my dear old neighborhood YMCA in Silver Spring, as parents bring their kids in for swim classes.įor years I never gave it much thought, except to cover myself with a towel or modestly turn sideways in the shower. This is not a tale of ancient Rome or even of one of those horrific child abuse cults. Their dads are there, too - sometimes naked, though frequently dressed and gingerly attempting to adjust the shower knobs for their kids without getting soaked. Sometimes the little boys and girls gaze at each other, particularly when they're taking showers together, naked. They peek or, sometimes, stand and openly stare. The little girls, some nearly chest high to a man, often appear very interested in all this. There are also other men around, and - you guessed it! - they are big and hairy and naked. A few of them are naked, fully or partially. There are little boys around, and older boys. Nearby are several little girls.Ī few are as old as 6, going on 7.
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